


The Phase II Saga

by spikala



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Clones, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-26
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9325694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikala/pseuds/spikala
Summary: Captain Rex's armour has been stolen! The boys of the 501st are up to no good but they'd better make sure he can't pin it on them. Meanwhile the Captain is on the war path!





	1. Whodnnit

**Author's Note:**

> Quick disclaimer, this is one of the first things I ever wrote for this fandom and this is reflected in the style of the story.

Fives and Echo were hunkered down in a dark corner amongst the grease and dust bunnies. All preparations were done, the scene was set, and now they were just waiting nervously for the operation to kick-start.

Echo broke the silence first. "You don't reckon we'll get court martialled, right Fives?"

"Nah" Fives flapped a casual hand in denial. "After all, it's not like it counts as _proper_ damage."

There was a brief silence.

"We'll get all the blame though, you know that."

Fives shifted so that his armour wasn't digging into his shebs. "Sure, but we'll get the best seat in the house for when the poodoo hits the fans"

"Good point. It'll be totally worth it".

And with that last remark, Echo went back to keeping an eye on their staging area.

-o0o-

Captain Rex was miffed. No, scratch that, he was more than miffed. He was _seriously_ peeved. He walked through the _Resolute_ 's corridors dressed only in his black body suit and his sense of outrage.

He rounded a corner and started down a main hallway. Two clone techs were crouched down by an open conduit panel, quietly conferred about this or that as they poked through a spaghetti tangle of coloured wires. One of them looked at the sound of Rex's footfalls and nudged his companion with his elbow. Both gaped at him obviously astounded to see the CO of the 501st roaming around in his underthings. Rex shot them a glare that could've dropped mynocks mid-air. Both techs blanched and scrambled to attention. Rex stalked grimly past them, acknowledging the salute only with a grunt.

Nothing had gone right so far this morning. Rex has woken up in his private room (rank has its privileges) to find his armour was missing. It was his custom every night to inspect each piece for damage before neatly stacking it in his foot locker.

When he had found it missing, he assumed that maybe he hadn't stowed it as usual. After all, he was feeling unusually groggy after last night's evening meal. But after searching every corner of the cramped room, he still hadn't found so much as a poelyn.

Rex wasn't sure what rattled him the most: being without his armour; or that someone or something had come into his room, stolen his armour, and left - all without waking him.

He felt exposed and naked without his armour, missed the constant spooling of information from his bucket's HUD. Not too long ago he had turned down repeated requests to exchange his Phase I armour for the newer Phase II gear. Rex had seen the new Phase II armour and was not impressed. Sure there might be improved resistance to blaster fire but the shape of the bucket... He grimaced involuntarily.

No, he preferred _his_ bucket. They'd been through a lot together and he had quietly upgraded it over the past few months with the help of one of the 501st tech boys. In his opinion, moving to a Phase II bucket would be a step backwards.

_And when I find the shabla di'kut who took it, there's gonna be hell to pay!_

* * *

 

Rex had debated reporting the theft to the General but had decided against it. Not a good look for the CO of the Republic's elite to have been robbed in the night.

Lady Luck seemed to be on his side today, so far he hadn't run into any of his boys from the 501st. At this time of morning most of them should still be in their PT session with his XO. _In fact..._

Rex slowed his pace then came to stop in the hallway. It was actually a bit suspicious that he had yet to spot a clone in blue. Normally he ran into a handful of his men by this time. Without his noticing it, a dark look came over him as his suspicions crystallised. Something didn't feel right about this.

As Captain Rex stood in thought, the sound of a heated conversation wafted towards him.

"Really Anakin! There is no excuse for behaving as you did towards Master Windu."

"Obi-Wan, I apologise but Master Windu's plan was a bad one. All I did was tell him so to his face."

As the voices grew louder, Rex took stock of his appearance and the situation at hand. The hallway was large, deserted except for him, with nothing to duck behind. He really didn't feel like explaining his appearance to the Generals.

As footsteps started to round the corner, he dove for the door handle of a nearby storage cupboard, wrenched it open, and threw himself in.


	2. Kix

In the rec room, a small crowd of the 501st were clustered around the small view screen that Jesse was holding. An aura of mischief and anticipation hung heavily around the group.

On screen, a cupboard door opened furtively and Captain Rex's blonde head popped out. After checking it was clear to the left and right, Rex emerged quietly and headed away from the camera view.

His rec room audience collapsed in hysterical laughter, congratulating each other on managing to secrete cameras in the corridors.

Jesse wiped tears from his eyes before putting on his bucket and opening a com line."Kix, heads up. He's coming your way."

* * *

 

Rex entered the med bay. It was empty for a change but the sterile atmosphere and faint chemical smell still made him uneasy. No clone liked coming to the attention of the medics. A 2-1B med droid looked blankly at him as he powered past.

The Clone Captain found Kix in the medic's station, feet propped on the desk as he read through a data pad. Full of medical jargon and stomach-churning case histories no doubt.

"Captain!" Kix snapped to attention, dropping the data pad in his haste.

"At ease, Kix." Rex scooped up the data pad and handed it over.

"Thank you, sir." Kix relaxed a bit then his eyes widened as his took in his Captain's appearance. "Um... sir?"

Rex took on his 'chewing-out' stance as he stood in front of his medic. "Well Kix, a funny thing happened to me last night... When I went to sleep, my armour was by my bed. When I woke up, it was no longer there, and suddenly there is not a single clone of the 501st to be found. I don't suppose there is anything you'd feel like telling me?"

Kix gulped quietly as Rex went on.

"Of course, if you knew of any whispers amongst the men on this matter, now would be the time to say so."

Rex leaned forward, eyeing Kix significantly. Some small part of Rex smirked in satisfaction as he watched Kix shift his weight, obviously feeling awkward.

"Actually sir, I'm under orders from high not to say anything on that subject."

Stunned, Rex opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Taking advantage of his Captain's silence, Kix barrelled on. "I am however authorised to give you this sir." He shoved something at Rex, who automatically grabbed it before it could fall.

"Excuse me, sir, but Commando Tano is expecting me in the gym."

With that, Kix clicked his heels together then beat a hasty retreat. _That went better than expected,_ Kix thought to himself, _I hope the Captain's temper holds out long enough for the rest of the plan._

* * *

 

In a bit of a daze—Kix had never been that impudent before—Rex looked down at the object in his hands.

It was curved, rectangular, hard, smooth, white but with streaks of blue... then as though a lens clicked into place in his mind, he realised what he held.

It was his left gauntlet, but... it looked as though the whole droid army had marched over the top of it. Chunks were missing along one side, deep gouges were on the underside, and as he turned it right side up, he almost cried out when he saw the myriad of spider fractures across the plastoid front.

Rex's blood ran cold. What had **happened** to his armour? Reining in his growing feeling of fury and holding his broken gauntlet in a death grip, Rex headed for the mess hall. Someone was bound to be there for him to growl at.

* * *

 

Fives was just adding the finishing touches to his grande finale when Kix commed him.

"The Captain's received the first piece. He's headed to the mess hall now. I warn you, he looks _pissed_."

"Good job, Kix. You'd better scoot off to the Commander now. If I were you I'd lay low for a while."

Kix's snort of derision echoed in Fives' bucket. "No need to tell me twice. Happy hunting, vod." With a faint click, Kix signed off.

Fives blinked and opened a new com line. "Denal, you've got incoming."


	3. Denal

The mess hall was abuzz as the clones of the 501st beat a hasty retreat.

Jesse stood, pitching his voice to carry over the chaos. "Not the west exit!"

Armour clattered as a small pile up happened at the east exit instead.

* * *

 

Outside the mess hall western exit, Captain Rex of the 501st took a deep breath. _Control. Beating your men to pulp is not an appropriate action for a commander_. He wished it were an option though. Command school on Kamino had failed to cover a scenario quite like this.

Throttling back his anger for the time being, he smacked the panel open, probably with a bit more force than was really necessary, and barged into the mess.

The mess hall was a large room, full of broad tables and bench seats that could easily accommodate half the 501st at a time. However at the moment it was uncharacteristically empty. No cooks, food trays in the service area, or clones, with one exception.

Denal was seated backwards on one of the central tables, his arms lounging casually against the tabletop. Rex noted caustically that there was an obvious lack of any sharp or heavy implements at hand.

In an effort to control his temper, his voice came out more clipped and terse than usual."Denal, you have all of thirty seconds to tell me what in the Force is going on here!"

Denal snapped to. _Fierfek, can't really smack him one when he's at attention._ Rex settled instead for crossing the room so he could glare at Denal, who had a carefully blank expression, from a few inches away. The pause lengthened.

"Trooper, I gave you a direct order!" Rex roared.

Denal coughed apologetically. _Keep your face blank, keep your face blank!_ Rex's indignation was almost comical, his obviously simmering anger not so much. Denal had no intention of ending up in Kix's med bay getting his nose reset again.

"Sorry, sir, but I'm under orders from high not to say anything. Only to give you this." He reached under the table, pulled out a bundle wrapped in dark blue cloth and set it on the table.

* * *

 

Silence stretched. Rex thought furiously, _orders on high? I_ am _on high! Who is giving_ _my_ _men orders to act against their commander?_ And like a sly whisper in the back of his mind, _who do I know that outranks me enough to pull this off? This doesn't feel like something the Commander or the Generals would do._

A hubhub started outside the two mess hall doors. A flood of the ship's clone crew, clad in their khaki and grey tunics poured in through the doors. From thin air, a procession cooks clad in white began bringing large silver trays full of steaming food to the service area and setting them up on the warming plates.

The crowd of shipboard clones ground to a halt as they caught side of the two troopers, one in armour and the other clad only in a black, skin-tight suit, staring each other down in the middle of the mess hall.

Inwardly Denal relaxed a fraction _, great timing boys_. A few seconds later and he would've been toast. During the planning stages he had protested against the need for backup, but now he was very glad Fives had overruled him. Even if it had meant the loss of three posters of Bylluran Athletic and various holo-images of twi'lek girls to some mealy-mouthed shipboard lieutenant. _Totally worth it._

One of the shipboard clones piped up timidly. "Um, Captain Rex, sir. I'm sorry, sir, but one of the lieutenants made a last minute change in the mess hall rota today. It's currently time for the crew's midday meal. If you and your trooper could come back at the proper time, we'd appreciate it."

Formalities completed, a sea of khaki and grey surged forward, filling the benches and creating a service line in no time. In the press of bodies, Denal caught sight of Rex being pushed back towards the western door and decided to make tracks for the east exit. Ducking down through the crew, he squirmed his way out towards the other door and sprinted away, tapping open his wrist com. "Oi, Fives, we're done in the mess hall."

"Copy that, Denal. Head for the RV point – shouldn't be long now."

* * *

 

As Rex was pushed out the door, he caught sight of white armour vanishing out the other exit. _Oh no you don't!_ he thought grimly, attempting in vain to make his way back through the mess hall and catch Denal.

A helpful voice rang out from the centre of the room. "Oh Captain, you forgot your things. Boys, pass the Captain's gear to him would you?"

Rex caught sight of the blue bundle that Denal had put on the table being lobbed from clone to clone across the room. Beside Rex, a ship clone with Communications tabs on his uniform caught the bundle and then shoved it hard into Rex's diaphragm. Temporarily winded, Rex paused in his struggles and that was all the crew needed to firmly push him out the door.

Rex leaned against one of the corridor walls, wheezing, waiting for his breath to come back to him as he clutched the mystery parcel.

Through the thin cloth he could feel the characteristic curves and hardness of plastoid armour. After all the hours he spent getting in and out of the stuff, cleaning, painting, and maintaining it, cloth was a useless disguise. He knew without a doubt he had gotten his right thigh piece back.

He shifted his grip on the bundle and froze as he felt it flex in a way that no armour ought to. _They trashed all of my armour?_

It went against all unspoken clone rules. A brother's armour was his life - you never ever messed with it. If anything, you made sure it was up to spec and never let him go into battle unless it was 100%. What were they up to?

A double click sounded on the ship's intercom system, signalling an announcement. "Could CT-7567 please report immediately to waste compacter I-7c." Another double click indicated the end of the announcement.

Orders were orders. Deliberately not opening the bundle—he'd rather not see the damage just now—Rex snapped his ruined gauntlet on so that he could have a hand free. He'd have to finish this at a later date and just put up with the comments about his armourless state for now. Steeling himself, he set off towards the lower decks.


	4. Scotty

CT-18/7153, Scotty to his compatriots in the _Resolute_ 's maintenance crew, was just running through the last of the pre-operational checks when the door to I-7c's control room slid open.

An older clone clad only in a black body suit and an armoured gauntlet strode in. _Just a gauntlet huh? Guess I know where the rest of his armour probably is._ He looked like a typical swaggering knuckle-duster to Scotty. Good at shooting stuff with a decee and chip on his shoulder the size of Alderaan for anything mechanical.

Scotty moved through the checksheet, taking a bit more time now so future problems would be avoided, and using it as an excuse to eye up the cause of his trouble.

_I trained as a trooper too but those knuckle dusters don't ever see that. Because I'm wizard with mechs I got assigned to maintenance. Bet this nerf herder couldn't do a five hour fix in less than an hour like I can._

Scotty's sense of indignation increased as he noted a lack of... contrition, guiltiness, or even a hint of apology in his visitor. The other clone obviously had no consideration for those that might have to wade through thigh-deep refuse to remove a blockage in the waste system.

Deliberately he slowed down his work speed, ignoring the trooper and instead began the start-up sequence for the waste compactor.

However this was possibly not the best thing to do to Captain Rex on this particular day.

* * *

 

Rex wrinkled his nose and tried to breathe shallowly. The other clone, a maintenance sergeant to judge by his coverall's tabs, was giving off a less than appealing aroma and the smell in the small room was rapidly becoming overwhelming.

He felt a pang of longing for the air filtration system of his bucket and added a swim in a waste compactor sans armour to his list of punishments for the _di'kut_ responsible for his state of undress.

He was still unsure why he'd been called here. Normally if this clone had been one of the 501st he would've reamed him out for failing to acknowledge and brief him on the situation. But as ship's crew were outside his command structure, he felt a bit hesitant about pulling rank.

After all, if some ship's lieutenant did that to one of his men, Rex would have a few things to say to that lieutenant, none of which would be 'Force bless'.

So instead, he waited as the fragrant maintenance clone toggled the last of the switches and the waste compactor ground into life.

* * *

 

Scotty grudging finished up with the compactor. He couldn't really justify keeping the trooper waiting much longer. _Now for the fun part._

Rocking on the balls of his feet to build up momentum, Scotty let rip:

"What kind of _di'kut_ are you, huh? Do you know how much trouble you caused with your stupid stunt? Four waste chutes backed up three decks high! But you'll be getting very intimate with those decks because you'll be cleaning them yourself with a toothbrush!"

Rex blinked. _Did he just start chewing me out... oh no he did_ not!

"There are procedures for things like this trooper! You do **not** de-shiny your armour by throwing through a waste compactor. And don't think I won't be filing a complaint with your superior!"

A vein pulsed in Rex's forehead. Scotty however, had built up too much steam to notice this warning sign.

"Next time you want to pull a prank, you empty-headed nerf herder, have the intelligence to file the ID marks off your armour!" Scotty shifted so he could wave at his evidence: the sorry looking remains of an armoured back plate covered in filth and cracked almost in three.

Scotty was inwardly pleased. It wasn't often he had a culprit to ream out over maintenance issues. _But... this trooper isn't acting like a normal shiny would after a dressing down like that..._

Alarms began in his head. In fact, he looked a little bit amused but mostly mad. _And that normally means..._ Blood drained from his face and he felt his heart sink to his boots. _Fierfek - he's an officer!_

"Um. I meant with all due respect, sir?" Scotty's voice squeaked inadvertently on the last word.

* * *

 

Rex was not amused, his back plate was beyond repair. He doubted that the pieces would be big enough to cover even Master Yoda. And to top it off some smelly _maintenance_ sergeant has just tried to rip him a new one over it.

The crestfallen look of the other clone went some way to mollifying his temper: but only some of the way.

"That's right, sergeant. I _am_ a sir. Given my current lack of rank insignia, I'm not going to put you on report for blatant insubordination towards a superior officer. Instead I believe that there are four backed up waste chutes, and a toothbrush – I think you mentioned, all with your name on it."

Rex's voice dropped to Hothian temperatures. "And next time, sergeant? Check the personnel files properly before you mouth off. Dismissed!"

The sergeant snapped off a "Sir, yes, sir!" before sloping out the room.

A corner of Rex's mouth turned up. _Oh, that feels much better._

* * *

 

Alone in the control room, Rex approached the soggy remains of his back plate. Gingerly, he flipped it over and wiped the grime off the serial number imprinted on the underside with a rag the sergeant had left behind in his haste. _That's mine alright._

He heaved a sigh and folded himself into a nearby chair. He pulled out the thigh piece from his cloth bundle and set it beside the back plate – the two were just as bad as each other and both were painful to look at. In a way he was lucky the back plate was still in one piece, the smaller armour pieces probably hadn't even slowed the compactor down.

Rex rested his head in his palms. He wasn't sure he could take much more of this. His armour had deserved better than having some unspeakable person take and trash it. It was another reason he hadn't been able to bring himself to trade it in for the new Phase II gear. His armour had saved his shebs more than once; they'd had a history together! And some _shabuir_ had thrown it down the garbage chute. He'd had enough for one day.

Rex made up his mind. He would head for the rec room and take out his temper on a punching bag there, if he happened to run into Denal or Kix on the way, so much the better. Pausing only to sweep the sorry remains of his armour into his bundle, he trudged out of the room.

* * *

 

 _In a dark corner of the_ Resolute...

"Ah, Fives? You may've overdone it with the garbage chute piece. The Captain looks..." Echo broke off.

In the glow of their com screen, Fives' face was glum."Yeah, I didn't think he'd get quite so upset though."

"Should we call the whole thing off then?" Echo hesitantly offered.

A brief pause followed as the clones considered their options. Then Kix chimed in over the com, "Fives, we've gone too far. Do you mind if we cut to the chase?"

His brothers on the link chimed in, most in favour. Those who'd not yet had their chance to rile up their Captain were less enthusiastic with this suggestion.

"Stow it!" Fives made an executive decision. "Alright let's put the Captain out of his misery. Everyone, head to the firing range, weapons hot. And Echo?"

Fives felt rather than saw his brother tilt his bucket in his direction.

"Go get the Captain. Get him to the firing range in," he consulted the chrono in his HUD, "fifteen minutes."

"Why me? Why not you?" Echo sounded disgusted.

"But the Captain _likes_ you." Under his bucket, Fives grinned. "Also, I've got to go get the Captain's boot off the hanger ceiling somehow."


	5. At The Range

In the gym, the rhythmic thwap-thawp of Rex's gloves against the punch bag was rudely interrupted by Echo's arrival.

"Sir, I'd appreciate it if you could come with me. Without asking questions please, sir."

"Enigma's overrated, Echo. Especially at 3 in the morning." Rex was not in the mood.

Echo ignored the jibe and went over to where Rex was giving the punching bag the hiding of its life. "That maybe so, sir, but the boys and I noticed you were a bit uptight today. So we've put together a surprise for you in the firing range."

"Oh really?" Rex paused to wipe sweat from his eyes.

* * *

 

The _Resolute_ , like all good military ships, was equipped with all of the necessary sundries for keeping soldiers out of trouble and in peak condition. She boasted three gyms, a galley crew that could please even the fussiest Coruscanti, and by last but by no means least, a firing range robust enough to take the worst the clones could dish out.

The décor of the firing range left a bit to be desired, and the colour scheme was in keeping with the grey on grey theme of the Republic, but it was the toughest room in the whole ship. Like any firing range, it was rectangular room with a firing line at one end, targets at the other, and partitions that could divide the space into single or multi-person lanes.

It is here that the mystery of Rex's armour was about to be explained.

* * *

 

Something was going on in the firing range when Rex and Echo entered. A group of the 501st, armoured and ready for action, stood in a firing stance. One of the range's transparisteel partitions separated them from Rex. His entrance had been noted and one of the 501st group stepped forward.

Only one of his men had a posture that cocky and sure of himself – Fives.

"Captain Rex, good to see you, sir. We thought we'd invite you down to the range and show you what we've been working on. We've got a rather special marksmanship display for you."

Rex's gaze drifted towards the end of the firing range, wondering what exercise was so special it warranted dragging him down here in the middle of the night. At the end of the range was a single B1 battle droid, standard in every way except one.

Resting on the droid was the rest of his armour, blue jaig eyes gleaming in the harsh lighting. Even his pauldron and kama had been put on the droid.

Rex shook off Echo's restraining hand and started forward, stopped only by the transparisteel partition.

That was when the boys of the 501st let rip with their decees, their combined firepower pushing the droid backwards. Only the firing range's backstop stopped the droid from toppling over.

The boys were obviously aiming for maximum damage rather than accuracy; Rex's armour was quickly covered in scorch marks and melted patches. A stray shot shattered the T visor of his bucket, momentum spinning it around, and dark shards flew in every direction, glittering in the fluorescent lights. Rex stood, his mouth agape in horror at the damage.

A lull opened in the firing. The other clones shouldered their blasters and, with parade-perfect timing, moved to either side of the lane of fire. Hardcase stepped up the line with his Z6 rotary blaster and let rip.

The roar of the chain gun drowned out all other sound as time slowed down. Rex could clearly see the rounds tearing through his kama and breast plate like they were made of flimsy. A shoulder piece was sent flying and shortly afterwards, the droid's left arm fell in a shower of sparks.

The characteristic _burrrrr_ of the Z6 told him that Hardcase had run out of charge. Helplessly, Rex noticed that his tattered armour was still mostly in one piece. It had definitely seen better days: the chain gun had left it looking like one of General Kenobi's tea strainers. His pauldron, pushed beyond its limits, clattered to the ground. As for his "main defence" – Rex winced.

A tiny officerly part of him was appalled at Hardcase's grouping but that part was rapidly overwhelmed by a rising tide of anger and blind rage.

As the final coup d'état, the firing squad rolled a cluster of thermal detonators towards the remains of his armour. When the smoke cleared, only splinters of white plastoid remained.


	6. Answers

Echo's guts were all knotted up. In the firing lane, Fives and the crew hammered the Captain's armour with decee rifles, then Hardcase's rotary blaster, before finishing off with a bang. Beside him, Captain Rex stiffened more and more as the 501st's display progressed

When the smoke from the detonators cleared the target, Rex's armour was gone. Smoking droid parts and shards of plastoid were scattered all over the place. Echo was impressed, but also a tad concerned by the level of destruction that a grenade did to plastoid. _Better steer clear of grenades from now on._ Judging by the hush in the range, the rest of the boys felt the same way. The Captain, who was obviously the exception, strode to the partition control panel and punched the OPEN button so hard that it shattered. Alarms started up as the safety partition began to slowly rise.

Clones were designed to be the best soldiers in the Republic: bred to be fast, strong, and able to quickly recognise when a situation was going downhill. ARC troopers took that training and dialled it up a notch. However even ARC troopers Echo and Fives were taken off guard when Rex lunged forwards and hooked an arm around Fives' throat. The two went down in a clatter of armour and flailing limbs.

 _Hmmm, maybe this wasn't the best way to spring this on him, trust Fives and his 'oh the Captain can take a joke'._ One of the benefits of his ARC training meant Echo could now tell the difference between a proper fight and rough housing. This fight was definitely the latter of the two even though Rex did look fairly unhappy. He stood back and let the two of them have at it for a bit.

Rex's inarticulate sounds of anger and outrage filled the range along with Fives' gasping. They were busy grappling for the position with the best leverage, shifting their weight perceptibly. But it seemed that the Captain's chokehold was as solid as the walls around them, and Fives wasn't shifting him anytime soon. The other clones seemed quite happy to watch alongside Echo, or just happy that it wasn't them that the Captain was beating up on - he couldn't tell. Fives was now trying to get to the pressure points in Rex's forearm. Normally armour meant that knowledge of pressure points was pretty useless but as Rex was wearing only his body suit, Fives might be able to give himself a breathing space. _Probably just as well for_ _Fives that Rex's has got a handicap – he looks pretty brassed off._

Echo was tempted to let the two of them duke it out on the floor for a bit longer, but the fight had probably gone on long enough. _Can't let the Captain strangle Fives, he'd feel terrible about it the next day._ Beckoning to Jesse for help, Echo tried to peel Rex off Fives. The Captain resisted their first efforts, jerking his shoulders out of the way of their hands and tightening his chokehold. Fives had scored some good hits, but looked fairly worse for wear.

In the end, it took all of them to wrestle Rex off the ARC trooper and firmly place him in the range officer's chair. It seemed the Captain wasn't quite ready for time out though and four clones were needed to return him to his seat. This time, Jesse and Hardcase pinned his arms and leant on him to make sure he stayed there.

Fives was still doubled over, gasping and massaging his throat. Kix gave Fives a quick check over, "bruised but nothing broken", before stepping back. Echo clasped Fives's shoulder—he'd take it from here. Fives paused to nod his consent then went back to sucking in air like it was going out of fashion. Rex was still thrashing about in his chair, spouting off orders and cusses, but Jesse and Hardcase's extra weight was keeping him down. Time to put him out of his misery.

It looked like the range controller had shorted out when Rex had punched the partition controls: back to doing things the old fashioned way. Echo looked around for someone who didn't look busy enough. "Denal, Charger – you'll have to bring it up manually."

The two clones hesitated for a moment, unused to Echo giving orders of his own, but a quick glance at Rex sent them scurrying off. Rex was still in his seat, praise to the powers that be, but looked no calmer. _Come on boys, faster would be better!_

"Don't think I've seen Rex this worked up since Saleucami." Kix noted with a touch of irony in his tone.

"We'd better hope he doesn't hold grudges then."

Denal and Charger were busy winching up the second droid through the target loading hatch in the floor.

Echo had to hand it to the Republic's anonymous ship designer: things were much simpler with targets stashed under the floor. Pop-up targets sharpened the reflexes in a way that the normal lunge-from-the-side targets couldn't. Shame about the power requirements.

Fives (who was breathing normally now) went to stand in front of Rex, blocking the Captain's view. Echo cut the lights so that the only illumination came from the emergency lights placed along the bottom of the walls. At the other end of the firing range he could hear Denal quietly muttering to himself, probably nothing complimentary, as he and Charger lugged the target to the set-up point.

"Sorted."

Echo hit the lights and Fives stood aside for the big reveal.

* * *

 

Rex blinked rapidly, temporarily blinded by the sudden change in lighting. In front of Rex stood, well, to put it bluntly, himself. A set of white and blue armour shone dully in the light. It looked just like the set that had just been shredded into toothpicks. A pauldron sat on the droid's left shoulder. A stripe of blue marched down each arm to the backs of the gauntlets. Another stripe of blue covered the knee pieces. A new kama was slung around the droid's hips, festooned with double DC-17 holsters. The utility belt, now that was different, it looked like every handheld goodie that the GAR had to offer was stashed in the compartments. On the droid's head, a T-visor outlined in blue stared back at him. _So…. what did the boys just wreck? Was it actually my armour or did they just blow up some random set of armour just to yank my chain?_

"Meet your new Phase II armour." Fives was apparently in charge of the reveal. "We know you don't like the look of the Phase II armour…."

"Heard it only about a million times," muttered Jesse _sotto voce._ Rex was taken aback; surely he hadn't been **that** vocal with his opinion.

Fives levelled a look at Jesse and continued, "so we kept all the bits of Phase I that you like but with all the added stopping power of the Phase II plate. We had to scuff it up a bit to make it look respectable—can't have you being mistaken for some shiny. One of the techs jimmied the bucket so it's just like your old one. He added in a few extras, but we thought you'd like them." Fives grinned wickedly. "We even got him to make up a spare Phase II bucket, just in case you get tired of looking old fashioned."

Jesse and Hardcase got off him and without realising he'd moved, Rex found himself standing in front of familiar looking jaig eyes.

Rex walked around the droid, looking the armour over—even the scrapes he'd earned at Teth and Ryloth had been duplicated. He absent-mindedly ran a finger over them.

Up close, he could see that something was unusual about the blue stripes – they looked just like his old ones except…. Peering closer at his rerebrace, Rex made out a name painted over the bicep in a slightly darker shade of blue: 'Kix'. On his forearm was 'Charger'.

"We each painted a bit in your colours and apparently artists are supposed to sign their work. This way, Captain, you know that we've always got your back." Fives explained.

"And your sides." That was Jesse.

"And your shebs." Hardcase stuck his oar in. The group erupted into raucous laughter and Rex felt the tension melt away.

Rex swallowed hard, more touched that he was willing to let on. He knew he should say something, acknowledge their efforts somehow, but the lump in his throat was making things difficult.

"Every brother's armour tells a story, we didn't think it right that you should lose yours Captain." Kix's words were soft but the conviction behind them was anything but.

Rex eyes were definitely wetter than normal but he was fairly sure he could blame it on the lingering grenade fumes.

The pause lengthened. Someone fidgeted behind him, _Hardcase no doubt_. The others looked nervous again. _They're probably not sure if they're going to get punched or court martialled right now._ Rex belatedly pulled himself together and made an effort to regain his composure. "Thank you, boys. I'm not sure that the build-up was quite warranted though."

Rex raised an eyebrow and the gang broke into grins, nudging each other with their elbows and clearly pleased with the success of their prank. "I appreciate your efforts on my behalf. I would like to know who was in charge of this… ah, 'outing'."

"That would be me."

"Or rather, that would be Fives and I." Echo chipped in, stickler for the truth as always. _The terrible twosome strike again._

Fives ruefully scratched his head. "The General and the Commander did mention in my hearing that they were unhappy to hear you were risking yourself by using less than the best armour. However I may've taken, uh, 'creative liberties with the truth' when I said it was orders from on high." A faint flush graced Fives' cheeks.

"Commander Tano was all set to drag you down to the armourer," Echo explained. "Kit you up in a shiny new set. But we figured that we can't let our CO go around looking like he's just been shipped out from Kamino: gives the 501st a bad reputation. So we,"—he jerked a thumb at Fives and himself—"told the Commander that we'd take care of it."

Rex was floored. Commander Tano hadn't been aboard for at least a couple of weeks now. The effort they'd gone to on his behalf was staggering and he was more than a little impressed that they'd managed to keep this surprise under wraps for so long, especially in a ship with a grapevine as good as the _Resolute_ 's.

Unable to think of another response, Rex fell back into his officer mode, grasping at regs like a drowning man. "I see you've all had your fun now, and left quite a trail of devastation behind you I might add." More snickers and grins. "All of you turn in for the night, I want this range cleaned up by 0900 tomorrow."

Groans heralded this announcement. Rex dropped his bombshell: "And as for your 'creative' ringleaders, as it so happens, somewhere on board this ship is a maintenance sergeant with a toothbrush and rather a lot of waste chutes to clean. I believe he could use a hand."

And with that, Rex left them to it.

* * *

 

**CODA:**

Rex strapped the last piece of his armour in place. Every piece fit like a glove, a rarity with newly issued armour, and he marvelled anew at his company's attention to detail. He couldn't fault the boys on their effort, that's for sure. Disappearing inside his bucket, Rex headed out of his room. The HUD flickered into life, the familiar data streams overlaying the world. It looked just like his old one and was skies better than the Phase II HUD.

He noticed three new symbols were showing up on his schematic of the Resolute, Cmd T…. Gen S…. Gen K….. Each with a distance marker beside it that decreased as he walked along the corridor.….. _Aha._ Rex grinned, having deciphered the new feature. Looks like Commander Tano and General Skywalker wouldn't be sneaking up on him again anytime soon.

Turning a corner, he almost ran down Commander Cody of the 212th Battalion. _Too bad I don't have a marker for him!_ Both clones nodded in greeting, falling in step as they headed towards the briefing room.

Cody opened a private com channel. "New kit? Looks good. I see your boys did a good job."

Rex's eyebrows almost hit the top of his bucket and the last piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place. "You told the Generals I was still using Phase I armour," he accused. "And only another command clone would have clearance to access my room."

"Yep. Although in your defence, we did spike your dinner with a sedative that Kix provided. It would've put a bit of a crimp in the plan to have you wake up prematurely."

They entered the turbolift in silence. _Mental note – assign Kix to the mess as a potato peeler for a day or two._ When the doors opened, Rex picked up the conversation again. "It's not like you to rat out a brother to the Generals."

Cody took on a lecturing tone. "The Commander's got a point though. It's no good getting attached to substandard kit. Your men need you in one piece and if that means sneaking into your room in the middle of the night, stealing your armour, then sending you on a wild bantha hunt through the ship, well, a brother's got to do what a brother's got to do."

Cody's face was hidden behind his bucket, but based on his body language Rex was fairly sure his brother had a grin from ear to ear. The two officers turned the last corner before the entrance to the bridge. The sentries on the door snapped to attention as they recognised the CO of the 501st and 212th Battalion approaching.

Rex paused in front of the doors. "Thanks, Cody."

"Don't mention it." Gesturing flamboyantly in an imitation of General Kenobi, Cody indicated Rex should precede him. "Now let's go and find this missing Jedi General then shall we?"


End file.
